World's rain
by Darkening grey
Summary: Tonight, there was just you, me, and the rain.


**A/N: Something made me write this, a spark of intense inspiration I guess after reading a story on the news.**

**And it was totally not related. The irony.**

* * *

**(Ichigo's POV)**

If someone told me, a eon ago, whatever was going to happen in advance, I would tell them i could not survive. but now, I am alive. to this day, I lost part of myself, and gained a part of him in me. I know this is insane, yet, was life not? We were crazy in life, in death, and in the middle of both of them.

This is, and was, the story of us.

The day he was sent to the hospital, it rained.

Correction: it poured. With such a heavy downpour beating against the window pane of my office, I looked out to see nothing but the greyish blurs of outside. Everything seemed desolate, everything seemed ominous. It was the rain, I guessed, that was a sign something had changed. yet, at that time, i did not know what had. so, i continued typing my prepared article on the computer, pretending nothing had happened.

The first sign came when I received not a single message from Grimmjow, even until 6pm when he would normally roll up to the entrance and wait for me with that badass grin of his. Of course, I tried to view it more optimistically. Maybe he had an extension and he had no time to inform me? And so, I sat down and waited, watching the cars go by in the downpour. The grey tint this world held was so, so different. so, so cold.

Then, came the message. With a frown at the vibrating phone I picked it up and opened the message.

My eyes widened, as I held the phone shakily. The darkness seemed to be closing around me, like the rain was meant to warn me of…this.

I grabbed everything I had, and ran.

* * *

My office was just a short distance away, but running in the pelting rain made it infinitely long. Why on earth would Grimmjow suddenly faint, lapse into a seizure and be rushed to the hospital? He looked perfectly fine this morning, I reasoned with myself, it was probably nothing.

Still, the cascading tears of heaven never stopped, as if they had an awareness of something so devastating the skies weeped. In this foul weather I finally reached the tall looming building, jacket soaked to the skin. Shivering at the blast of cold air, I peeled my sodden jacket off and shoved it into my sling bag.

It took me not too long to enquire about which room was Grimmjow in (They gave grim looks, I noted, and the whispered "It's the A&E" did not help much in calming my nerves). once that was done, I bolted all the way to the operation room. As much as I wished to barge in, some sense of logic pulled me back and forced me to contain myself. still, i was apprehensive. Glancing at the red light on the top of door, I paced about urgently. within the white washed walls, I could still hear the rain hitting the roof of the immerse building, like it was shaking down my emotional walls.

The red light finally went off after an hour, signalling the doctor was about to come out. I straightened my attire and stared expectantly at the door. When it creaked open, I could no longer hold myself back.

"How is he?" I asked hurriedly. Professionalism did not matter anymore.

The silence descended for a few moments, until it became a weight too heavy to bear.

"HOW IS HE!" I almost cried out, pouring all my frustration, worry, despair, confusion into those three words.

The detached man in front of me shook his head, and the dread began to pool. what-

"I'm sorry, but Mr Jaegerjaquez has been revealed to have a terminal stage of lung cancer. despite attempts to remove the tumour...unable to remove it...from prediction...about 3-4 weeks to live...give our consolidations on the issue, and…"

Only bits and pieces of the conversation entered my turmoiled brain, and the world came crashing down on me. My eyes slowly closed. everything around me began to spin.

No.

No.

No.

Suddenly, nothing mattered.

"Will nothing help him recover?" I questioned uselessly, trying to curb the urge to fall to the ground and scream.

"No sir, though chemotherapy might give him another month at most, depending on how much he can fight it." The doctor stated matter-of-factly, like a death did not matter.

Like the death of a loved one affected no one.

"Would you like to let him attend such-"

"No thanks." I cut in, the pressure on my quivering body too much for me to handle. I slumped onto the wall. "How long does he have to live?"

"3-4 weeks" There came the detached response again.

Then, when the rain became the world's only sound, when I internally died, I made this decision to change his life in its last moments.

"Then I'll make the most out of it." The response came.

I had no regrets.

* * *

It was hard, to cope with the fact the man lying next to you with his fragile hand in yours, was dying ever so slowly. I looked around, my eyes taking in the dreary room before focussing on our wedding photo. There we were, two newly-wed, beaming like the world depended on our happiness. But that was not enough to make me smile. These 10 years, we went through everything together. through thick and thin, our bond was ever strengthening. yet now…

I braced myself, and turned to glance his sleeping frame. Even in his sleep he seemed troubled, tense. I wondered how he felt now, when the walls were slowly closing in. Was he sad? Was he torn between living and death? was he…

I could not take it anymore, no matter how strong I kept my facade to be. I buried my head in my twin hands, and cried for him, for me, for us. For nothing could stop him from fading away, nothing could stop the world.

Tonight, the world cried for us, as we stood on the edge.

* * *

The next day, I woke up early, and turned to face Grimmjow. He appeared paler, weaker, and my hand unconsciously tightened around his.

"Good morning, my love." I said tiredly, quietly. as if he would crumble into ashes right before me. He nodded, the rest of his body slack. I carefully supported him out of bed and got him showered and dressed. Just days before, it was always he taking care of me, shouldering the burden. Now, however, the reins were passed to me. He almost seemed like a child again, needing to be sheltered from the harsh cruelty of this world.

"Grimm…I'll protect you, I'll be right by your side." I whispered to him, staring into those twin oceans, full of tidal waves of emotions. "I'll be your protector, I'll never leave your side."

He quirked his lips up into a slight smile, and remained in that state as he listened to me.

I continued on, saying out promises I could never achieve, all of them empty and boneless. but I knew not of that. In such empty promises, there was undying love. love that spanned time and space, love that defied gravity and fate, love that made me and him together eternally in our heartbeats.

And so, I continued on, because the world no longer mattered to me at that time.

It was just him, me, and nothing but the abyss in between.

* * *

The following days passed the same way, with us trying to sustain normal activities. I had pooled together all of my saved up "no-working" days into this month, to spend everyday by his side. It was not boring, just simple. Every meal, I cooked, trying to uphold this bright and cheery on look. I could spend whole days watching television with him, guffawing with his small wheezes at the comedy shows. Once in a while, I would turn to face him. His face grew thinner little by little, his smile eventually dwindled down to a small smirk. Yet, I resolved to cherish every moment i could.

After all, by the time I tried to look back, one and a half weeks had passed. Grimmjow was growing too weak to even walk, and so our activities were confined to his bed. But, I carried on trying to make him glad, make him smile. Whenever something interesting popped up, his eyes would sparkle in the dim lamp light, and I knew I had accomplished a small feat of climbing this mountain.

"I…chi…g…go." His speech grew laboured, and restricted to a handle of short phrases before he burst into a coughing fit. Still, whenever he said my name, it was as if a bit of the usual him was still there, fighting against the deadly obstacle in his way.

Even though I knew he could never recover, I lived my life as if he could. Whenever he tried to tell me he would get well soon, I would fake my inner pain with a silent wide smile, and hug him ever so tightly.

I never wished to let him go, but I knew I had to.

"I…chi…go…" He wheezed suddenly, jolting me out of my thoughts. I grabbed a cup of water and hurriedly handed it to him. He craned his neck and shook his head slightly. I understood, and placed the water on his table.

Then, he gestured weakly at the sketch board and pen, indicating he wanted to write something down. I complied, passing it to him

"Don't tax yourself…okay?" I said softly, watching his hand tremble as he picked up the pen and scrawl something down. True, he was gritting his teeth as he made shaky strokes, but I let him do it himself.

He needed this, to prove to himself he could still write, so that he still was living. I let him.

When he finished, his hand released the pen and he drew a tentative breathe, but his left hand continued gripping onto the board.

"Re…re…era…read…" His voice shook with such ferocity I insisted the water to be drunk. As he did so, I accepted the board and tried to discern the messy handwriting.

It read one line, one single line.

"I love you."

And then, when my heart broke at his words, I turned to look at him. his eyes were shining with an unreadable expression.

For the thousandth time, the tears fell, staining the white board.

"Thank…you."

* * *

Three weeks passed by, and at this stage Grimmjow hardly did anything but lie on the bed motionless. He would occasionally break into seizures, and I held his hand all the way, whispering a lullaby for his ears only. Relatives and family members of mine wanted to visit us, but I declined. I needed this, no he needed this time alone. Grimmjow had no known biological parents, and his stepfather broke all contact with him when he was old enough. Without the love of a family, he needed the love of someone.

And so, I laid my heart out for him.

Every morning I would wake up, fearful that he would slip away silently in his sleep. When his pulse was shown to be steady, I would heave a sigh of relief and pray for his soul. I had no religion, so others might be curious what I prayed for, and to who.

No one understood that prayers of mine reached no god, for I prayed to the world for his soul to be laid peacefully to sleep. As his condition worsened till he drifted on the edge of death itself, I would stand watch at his bedside. On his last few days, I started reading books aloud to him. Sometimes, I would spend hours on the activity. Even though he did nothing much but teeter on the dagger's tip of consciousness. still, even if he was not awaken, even if tears threatened to flood my world, I continued on, my words reaching the ghosts of living and death. At night, I could not rest, disturbed by the lingering spirit of death.

At night, I started to pick up the old dusty guitar and strum. There was one last thing I had in mind, one last thing I had to complete before he was gone. The song's manuscript was laid out messily on the floor, as I held onto page 1 and tried my best to practice it. Should I fail, I would sigh, steel myself for more failure and resume this tiring routine. I neglected my job, my health, my being for him.

This was how much i loved him, counted in days, hours, minutes, seconds.

I realised, love made you do the most incredible of things.

* * *

The next day, he did not eat much.

* * *

The day after, he did not touch his food at all.

* * *

In the end, it all boiled down to this. This night, everything would come to a close. Sitting down next to him, listening to him struggle with breathing, I had to do that one last thing.

My fingers started to pick up the chip, and strummed a chord. That moment, Grimmjow grew silent, his lifeless eyes rolling to the side to meet mine.

"You said before, Grimm, that you wanted me to play this song." I said silently, to no one actually.

"Tonight, i will."

And so, I began.

* * *

**The stars will cry**

**The blackest tears tonight**

**And this is the moment that I live for**

**I can smell the ocean air**

**And here I am**

**Pouring my heart onto these rooftops **

**Just a ghost to the world**

**That's exactly**

**Exactly what I need**

Turning, I caught a small glimmer of surprise in his eyes. Smiling sadly, I pressed on, ignoring the light rain tapping on the window.

* * *

**From up here the city lights burn**

**like a thousand miles of fire**

**and I'm here to sing this anthem**

**of our dying day**

From the corner of my eye, Grimmjow was positively glazing at me, as if transported into another world in his mind. I closed my eyes and continued.

**For a second I wished the tide**

**Would swallow every inch of this city**

**As you gasp for air tonight**

**I'd scream this song right in your face**

**If you were here**

**I swear I won't miss a beat**

**Cause i never**

**Never have before**

* * *

**From up here the city lights burn**

**Loke a thousand miles of fire**

**and I'm here to sing this anthem**

**Of our dying day**

**Of our dying day **

**Of our dying day**

**Of our dying!**

As I screamed the last few parts, I could no longer stop it. Knowing Grimmjow was looking, knowing the world was watching, I let myself go in my ocean of despair.

And still, I continued by the sheer force of willpower.

* * *

**For a second I wished the tide**

**would swallow every inch of this city**

**as you gasp for air tonight!**

**From up here the city lights burn**

**Like a thousand miles of fire**

**and I'm here to sing this anthem**

**of our dying day**

**From up here the city lights burn**

**like a thousand miles of fire**

**and I'm here to sing this anthem**

**of our dying day**

**From up here the city lights burn**

**like a thousand miles of fire**

**and I'm here to sing this anthem**

**of our dying day**

As I finally stopped, I let the guitar fall to the ground, clattering. I lifted my head to try and see his face, only to see him lying there motionless, eyes closed. Tentatively, i reached a hand out and pressed my two fingers on his wrist.

No pulse.

Then, I noticed the twin trails running from his closed eyes, down his checks, to the bedding.

Grimmjow never cried, but now, he did in his death.

He cried for me.

Outside, the rain was beating down harshly onto Earth, but nothing cared anymore. He was gone.

Finally, finally, I laid to cry myself to sleep, as the rain poured outside and inside.

In my world, it was just nothing, but the rain.


End file.
